Saturday, July 29, 2006

Sons' Success Stories

Four guys are telling stories in a bar. One guy leaves for a bathroom break. Three guys are left.

The first guy says, "I was worried that my son was gonna be a loser because he started out washing cars for a local dealership. Turns out that he got a break, they made him a salesman, and he sold so many cars that he bought the dealership. In fact, he's so successful that he just gave his best friend a new Mercedes for his birthday."

The second guy says, "I was worried about my son too because he started out raking leaves for a Realtor. Turns out HE got a break, they made him a commissioned salesman, and he eventually bought the real estate firm. In fact, he's so successful that he just gave his best friend a new house for his birthday."

The third guy says, "Yeah, I hear you. My son started out sweeping floors in a brokerage firm. In fact, he's So rich that he just gave HIS best friend a million in stock for his birthday."

The fourth guy comes back from the can. The first 3 explain that they are telling stories about their kids, so he says, "Well, I'm embarrassed to admit that my son is a MAJOR disappointment.

"He started out as a hairdresser and is STILL a hairdresser after 15 years. In fact, I just found out that he's gay and has SEVERAL boyfriends. But, I try to look at the bright side: his boyfriends just bought him a new Mercedes, a new house, and a million in stock for his birthday."

If a dog were your teacher, you would learn stuff like . . .

-When loved ones come home, run to greet them.
-Never pass up the opportunity of a joyride.
-Allow the feel of wind & fresh air in your face to be pure ecstacy.
-When it's in your best interest, practice obedience.
-Let others know when they've invaded your territory.
-Take naps often and stretch before rising.
-Run, romp, and play daily.
-Thrive on attention and let people touch you.
-Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.
-On warm days, stop to lie on your back in the grass.
-On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.
-When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body.
-No matter how often you're scolded, don't buy into the guilt thing and pout. Run right back and make friends.
-Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.
-Eat with gusto and enthusiasm, but stop when you've had enough.
-Be loyal.
-Never pretend to be something you're not.
-If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.

Pictures by Crazyfuns.ru







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